Pineapple Dew.


There's two important things to understand before you read this.

  1. I know this is a blog post type thing.
  2. I don't care.

Now that we've settled that, let's get onto the topic here. Pineapple Dew. It all started simple enough, it was nay 3AM and I wanted caffeine. In the bewilderment presented with her int he soft drink and dubieties-enduing beverage isle at the Acme, my mother bought what shall exaggeratively be henceforth described as one metric fuckton of Mountain Dew.

Now, Mountain Dew is nice once and a while. After that it tastes like a syrupy liquid cotton candy (candy floss for you Brits). I find it overly sweet for massive consumption. One case? Fine. A metric fuckton? Not quool beans anymore.

Anyway, I was searching for something to mix with it. It had to be something a little sour and acidic. Water would only make it an even thinner syrup which really wasn't my goal. I didn't imagine tea (what I normally mix carbonated beverages with) would be much better here.

I looked through the cabinet. I didn't see anything that looked like a good idea to mix it with.

Not that that stopped me.

I found a can of pineapple rings. I put one in the bottom of a cup, poured in half the can, dropped in another ring and poured the rest of the can in.

It was much better than I thought and was something other than liquid sugar. It seemed like it could almost be a legitimate beverage.

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